Friday, May 04, 2007

Mourning

She is losing a lot of weight, refusing to eat, and is on strong pain meds due to pain from muscle rigidity/cramps, part of being bed-ridden, arthritis, etc. She sleeps a lot, but has moments of lucidity and has spoken a few words to us. My sister Betty has a hard time visiting her. I have to admit it's getting to me, too, but when I do visit her I just want to bury myself in her arms, but that's not possible because it hurts her to do that...I loved my Dad a lot and it hurt a lot when he died in 2001, but I know it'll be worse with my Mom.

I used to take comfort in what I was taught in my faith, but I have always had doubts and the one sure thing I know is that no one knows until they pass on. I will miss her. I already do so much. Even though she was a pain in the butt many times I loved her fiercely. Strange how that is, isn't it?