Monday, August 23, 2004

I usually hate most of the so-called 'cute' messages many women forward in emails to other women. I find them irritating and condescending, and some are just plain badly written, not funny at all, and just sappy.

The one below is a bit more realistic and therefore IS amusing...

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

My adult heart breaks with the recognition of her age as the child in me wants to pull at her skirts to look upon her as she was when I was a little girl. The tears that blur my vision smooth the deep creases in her face and leave her skin appearing as flawless as fresh cream poured into a porcelain saucer. I don't want to blink. I am not ready for her to be old.
A woman writes about the passing of the torch between mother and daughter...

Sunday, August 08, 2004

I am so sorry to hear about Aunt Pat's episodes. It's very difficult to say what is causing them, to be perfectly frank. Even a neurologist might only be able to say it's probably dementia-related. There is so much about the human brain we just don't understand. It's quite possible that Aunt Pat is dreaming and just can't tell the difference between dreaming and reality anymore. I can imagine that line being easily blurred if you are older, your energy much less, your body including your mind not working as well as it used to, etc. I can also imagine how painful it is to watch someone you love go through that. I hope Delphine does go ahead and gets married, that she is able to share these concerns with her husband-to-be, and that he can be a blessing to her in this difficult time...
What a horrible experience I just had with my Mother. As background here I will go back to last Tues. I take her out of the nursing home every Tues. to go to the beauty shop and out to eat. I went to get her. Her nurse said she was complaining of shortness of breath and pulse was only 36. But said I could give a try to taking her out. Well I got her into the car but could see it wasn't going to work, so took her back into the care facility. When I got home from the hairdresser there was a call from nursing home and Mom had been taken to the hosp. As all turned out she was taken to the next town Tues. afternoon and Wed. morning they implanted a pacemaker and she was back here in the nursing home by Thurs. afternoon. Seemed to be doing OK. But I was with her now today and now Insanity seems to have set in along with dementia. Nurse when I talked to her said well lets call it confusion.

Mom tells me there is a cook in the kitchen and one other worker who are from Africa and they go to Africa and get this floor wax, a spray on, that they are using that causes real thick fumes and is giving all of them hallucinations. Causing their noses to plug up and causing them to not be able to breathe well. I tried to ease her mind by telling her if they were doing that all the workers would be having trouble too. She says they are that everyone in there are going crazy and having hallucinations. Then she changed the story and said they are putting this special African spray in the water pipes and It comes out of the ceiling vents and is a real thick white spray and stops your breathing by plugging up your nose. Said a small boy came to her last night and he was so scared and asked Mom if she would take care of him and she said she would so he stayed with her all night. Then back to the floor wax same story over and over. Then said it was also getting in her hair and ruining her hair as her hair has never been so silky feeling before.

Then told me one of the African workers took them all in a van to Las Cruces yesterday on a sight seeing trip and the whole time this thick white spray was coming out and they were all having hallucinations and what they were seeing wasn't really there.

They are trying to kill all the elderly. I finally couldn't take her ravings anymore so I took her back into the building (I had taken her outside to sit.) I am about to leave for Alaska to get Married and Mom wanted to sit by the front door so she could look outside so I left her there and went and talked to the nurse. I was shaking I was so upset and wondering if I should forget about the wedding and stay here. The nurse said it could be the effects of the anesthesia and that she wanted me to forget it and go ahead with my plans as I need a life and not let this deter me. She would be cared for and since My son works there too she still would have family. She says it should get better in time that it just takes a while at that age and the anesthesia and all to wear off. I just know if she goes insane I can't keep going to see her as it is too hard to see her like that. I was so upset and shaking so bad I felt like I was going to pass out. It was so awful

She has one eye that looked a little infected too, it is one that she had some surgery on the tear duct many yrs. ago. It was fire red and pussy so I showed it to the nurse and she will try get some eyedrops for it. This triggered this African Floor wax story from Mom too as she claims that even that is because of this floor wax from Africa and that everyone in there has the same eye trouble. It is all caused from the fumes that come up from this African floor wax.

Trish and Betty I just hope and pray you don't ever have to hear your Mom ranting and raving like this. The memory loss is one thing but this is awful.