Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Why

Betty emailed Sharon and I today...
Written by me in 3rd person for Mom:

I called Betty last night at 5:30 and told her to come and pick me up. She asked me why. Told her I wanted to get the hell out of here. They are trying to tell me to wear these diapers. I don't have a bladder problem. And they want me to drink this medicine stuff and I won't be experimented on.

She told me they were eating supper and would come later.

I waited...but she didn't come.

I have no one. This is no way to live.

Why does God let me keep living?

I want to just sleep away - let me sleep away, Lord...please.
Betty went on to say that "I called the nurse's station last night; she did not eat breakfast, only the desert for dinner, no supper. Her meds? She is suppose to have 3 of the serqoul a day. They got 2 in her on Sunday, 2 in her on Monday and none in her on Tuesday.

"Why Lord - I ask myself the same question? Why..."

I responded, saying...
It is most definitely becoming painful to see Mom this way. She is very sad inside, and it's finally coming out more and more to the outside. It's like visiting a ghost when we see her on our bi-weekly visits...

Update on my Mom Alberta (Pat) Smith

The last post on my Mom was in regards to how much better she is doing since having a pacemaker implanted.

Well the latest thing now is consistant bloody noses. She is on a blood thinner called Plavix due to strokes (preventing them that is) Well Thurs Feb. 17 at 2:30 AM the SHCC called and were taking Mom to emergency as she had a bloody nose they couldn't get stopped. So we got up and dressed and met her at the hosp. Dr. had packed her nose but the blood still poured thru the pack and down her face. She had just been taken to Las Cruces to a ear/nose/throat/ Dr. Feb. 8 and he cauterized a blood vessel in her nose. Well they had to cauterize yet another. They took her off Plavix the first time for 7 days but was only back on it 2 days when this bloody nose occured so took her off again for 5 days this time. So today she will go back on it. So I anticipate another bloody nose.

I take Mom ut to the beauty shop every Tues. They know that and always have her up showered and dressed ready to go. Last Tues I get to the home and Mom is still in bed in her nightgown and sound alseep. So I seft her sleeping and went alone. So this Tues. I called them at 7 and told them I wanted her up and ready. Well she was dressed but not showered and when I went to get her her she said ''Oh Ya take me out of here they are coming to give me a shower and I don't want one.'' I said well they were to have that all done so we could go but we are going anyhow. She was very weak and not feeling good. Said she was very nauseous. Asked her if she still wanted to go and she did. While in the hairdressers she then complained that her hip was hurting just terrible. She walked into the hairdressers with me but I had quite a time getting her back to the car as her leg kept collapsing. On the way to the cafe she then complained of a severe headache. But We went to eat after anyhow, but she wanted soup. Here they are big on green chili soups which Mom can't eat so I went to 4 cafe's before I found one that had potato bacon soup (no chili). She ate most of it but was going down hill as the morning went on. We did manage to walk into the cafe but after eating Mom couldn't lift herself out of the booth. I went and got the wheel chair out of the car as I always bring it with me and fortunately the little waiter we had use to work at the nursing home so knew how to lift so he literally lifted Mom out of the booth and put her in the wheel chair. I took her back to SHCC and she wanted to go right back to bed so I helped her in bed covered her and kissed her goodbye. I went back in the evening to check on her and she was still laying as I had put her and still sleeping. I talked to my Son who works at the home and told him all this and he will check on her today when he gets to work.

WE have had a couple past friends die this last few months. One from Northome Minn. Long time friends of Mom and Dad. Stike Engleking died about 4 months ago. Another one from Bemidji, My age, Wendell Fricke died from a stroke about 6 weeks ago. I told Mom this at the time they happened. Every time I see Mom she says did Stike die or did I dream it and I tell her no you didn't dream it he did die. Then the same question about Wendell. Week after week the same question. Stikes daughter Cyritha was even here to visit for a few days as they travel to warmer climate in winter. She and I and Mom went out to eat together and Cy told Mom all about her Dad too. 2 days later when I saw Mom I was talking about our lunch together and Mom had no memory of it whatsoever. In talking Cy was beginning to think I was wrong as Mom visited so coherently and seemed so normal so Cy was wondering where I was coming from saying she had no memory. Cy was telling Mom about her Mom who has been in the nursing home for 5 yrs. now, and after Cy and I just getting Mom out of SHCC Mom sits there and says to Cy Well thank goodness that is one place I haven't had to go anyhow. So now Cyritha Knows what I am talking about. LOL Mom has been there almost 2 yrs. now.

Sorry this has been long but it has been a while since I posted.