The Greenhouse Project is a movement of people who envision a more positive environment for not only caring for but nuturing our elders. I think it's exciting! I intend to follow this idea and those like it. For now, it is limited where this kind of thinking is actually practiced, and will probably be too late for our Mom. While we do what we can now, I think about MY senior years and what I would like...

A message from our mother, to her daughters (Sharon, Betty, and Patricia)...

I love you still even though you sometimes treat me like dirt. Dad & I went through hell to bring you back from California and away from Tom the devil's cohort. It really tore your Dad apart to see you in the condition you were living in. Estelle gives me a pain in the ass. She should have stayed at home and raised her kids properly. She thinks she is so smart. She sits and puffs away on her cigarette and thinks everything will be okay if she dishes the money out to those no good boys of her's. I've got news for her. She is just helping them to get into Lucifer's hands deeper and deeper.

I thank God we got you away from there but don't know for sure if you are glad we did or not.

I pray that Daniel tries to walk the right path. Eva is sort of off the right path but pray she turns back before it's too late!

I'm sure glad my mother is not alive to see all this as it would break her heart. I'm so thankful that I did all the right things for her even though she and I always had our arguments. We loved each other immensely! She was not just my mother, she was the best friend I ever had on earth! When I needed to talk to someone she was always ready to listen and to encourage me to go on!!

She did not have it easy as a child. Her father was a drunkard! I don't know where he would end up after death. He did long before I was born so never knew him. My other grandpa, Grandpa Fitzpatrick, was wonderful and loved all the grandchildren. He always had a pocketful of pink peppermints. I was 4 1/2 when he died so can't really remember him too well.

I remember his big white beard. I do believe I'll see him and my grandma in heaven! What a wonderful reunion that will be!!!

When the Lord calls me I hope I don't struggle to live as I want to drift into the arms of Jesus nice and easy. Betty, I'd love to talk with you someday. Trish, too, if she wants to listen to me.

I was so delighted to have three little girls, and it was so fun to sew all of your clothes. I sure spent hours at that machine. Dad was so pleased that he would sneak up behind me, give me a peck on the cheek. He loved me so tenderly! Sure we had our arguments but they never came to blows.

Grandpa Short was so cruel to Grandma Short. I don't know why she stayed with him as she was a teacher. But of course the wages were so low I supposed she couldn't make it. So she just stayed and kept having kids. Can you imagine - he blamed HER for that, too, as if he didn't have any part in it, the miserable bastard!

I wouldn't take anything from him. He said, 'You think you're so smart.' I said, 'You're damned right, and a lot smarter than you.' I bet your Dad could have told you things that would make your blood curdle of how his Dad treated your Grandma Short.

There are lots of men around today that take part, but women can get a lot better help if they aren't afraid to ask.

Some days I wish I'd never been born. Happiness is an illusive visitor to me. I've struggled with that all my life. The happiest time was with you three girls and your Dad!!! Your Dad was a prince!!!

No man has a right to treat a wife like a child! A wife is a grown intelligent adult and should be treated as such.

My hand is getting tried so better quit and finish this later...

I found these notes while tidying up her room recently...

My sister Betty asked the director of our Mother's assisted living facility how she sees our Mother now, and over the next few months...

Your mom is really pretty much the same as before. She has really good moments and days and then not so good ones. She has made friends with Kay and really enjoys being with her at coffee and card time. Kay can typically get her up and moving quite a bit. There really is no predicting what are the good days. I do think that she is eating a lot of junk food and is then not very hungry for the main meal. I don't believe that she has had any major weight loss or gain, I will double check this. Over the next year I can't honestly say. Is she doing worse than before- not really-she's still up and down, good and bad etc. Is she doing any better. No, pretty much the same. We will just have to continue to try and motivate her as much as possible and keep her safe. We will also monitor the memory loss and see if that is affecting her in any major way. Is she safe right now, I believe so. But the other possibility is that at some point she may decline, have a fall, or begin to wander. These are the things that we watch for. Sometimes they are predictable and sometimes they are not. I am sorry that I can't give you more of a definitive answer. For now I say just continue to love her up the way you all do and enjoy the good moments. Thanks Susan