Thursday, July 05, 2007

"If I could talk to Mom--A Wistful Conversation"

Oh, Mom, I miss you so much. I wish you were still here. But you really began leaving us years ago when you saw Dad fading away before your eyes. I miss your engagement with life. I always looked forward to calling you on the phone every weekend - checking in to see how you and Dad were doing, to share how I was doing, and to seek your ideas and thoughts on life.

I am so thankful for those weeks and months that you came to visit me after Dad died. But even then, you were longing to join him in heaven and less interested in living here on earth. The following song/poem expresses my feelings and says it so well:
YEARNINGS
by Hava Alberstein

And on Saturday morning there's no one to call.
To tell how the performance went.
And Dad doesn't ask: "Was there a crowd?"
And Mom doesn't say: "You sound tired!"
But when anyone writes anything bad about me.
I still tremble.
That Dad shouldn't hear it.
That Mom shouldn't read it.
I want to be a good girl.

And I don't go home on my way to the north.
And I don't stop there when I return.
And the porch from which they waved goodbye to me.
Is suspended like an empty crib.
But when anyone writes anything good about me,
I still hope.
That Dad already heard.
That Mom's so very proud.
I want to be a good girl.

I don't cry - I only yearn.

So many faces - so many ears.
But when we sing - we're always only singing to two.
And when the two disappear - We sing to the heavens.
Mom, I know you're happy now. You are with the Lord and you are with Gordon, the love of your life.

Your "good girl,"

Sharon