"...a sort of spendid torch..."

"This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one, the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me happy.

"I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live.

"I rejoice in life for it's own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I've got to holdup for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

- George Bernard Shaw

Better Than Ever

I want people to talk to one another no matter what their difference of opinion might be.

A hero of mine, Studs Terkel turns 95 today.

He's publishing his first memoir later this year - now THAT'S when you should publish a memior, after most of a life has been lived!

What My Kids Think of Me

My Generation

Some amazing photos of the Zimmer's first 'live' gig.

An article about the group.

Looking Back: 2002

After I came home from visiting my daughter on May 19th, 2002, Mom was very glad to see me. She had missed me terribly. I don't know why I should think that strange, but I did. I was very touched at her expression of love, explaining to me that she had thought she had 'lost' me once, when I went to California. That time seems so long ago, like another person, not myself. I returned, and for a year and a half, Eva, Daniel, and I lived with Dad and Mom and began recreating a life.

I really have enjoyed tremendously the time I have been getting to spend with Mom this past year and a half. I always imagined what it would have been like living closer to her, and never had a chance to know until now. It's definitely a unique time in both our lives...

Mourning

She is losing a lot of weight, refusing to eat, and is on strong pain meds due to pain from muscle rigidity/cramps, part of being bed-ridden, arthritis, etc. She sleeps a lot, but has moments of lucidity and has spoken a few words to us. My sister Betty has a hard time visiting her. I have to admit it's getting to me, too, but when I do visit her I just want to bury myself in her arms, but that's not possible because it hurts her to do that...I loved my Dad a lot and it hurt a lot when he died in 2001, but I know it'll be worse with my Mom.

I used to take comfort in what I was taught in my faith, but I have always had doubts and the one sure thing I know is that no one knows until they pass on. I will miss her. I already do so much. Even though she was a pain in the butt many times I loved her fiercely. Strange how that is, isn't it?

Cameo: Arthur Wallace

By the time I met him, Arthur Wallace had no teeth, continually chewed on a cigar and kept his money in a velvet Crown Royal pouch. He was living at the Duplex Nursing Home in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts. Though neither of us knew it, he was in the last year of his life.

- David Greenberger, from I ain't Coe

Went to see Mom again

Since she was seeing elephants Tues. I went to the house and brought up 2 stuffed elephants she had and layed them on her bed. Today she is In an "I am not getting up" mode. They couldn't get her up to go to breakfast I was going to go to lunch with her and help her eat again but she was still sound asleep at 11:30 when I was there so I left.

My Mom

I went to see my mother Tues. She will be 95 July 13. She is in hospice care now in the nursing home. She has gotten into a hallucinatory state. Tues I took her outside to sit in the warm sun and she kept seeing cockroaches all over. Told me they keep falling all apart and that they can do it to themself noone does it to them and when they make themself fall apart like that it makes that animal mad so he eats them all. Then she kept reaching in the air and grabbing things. Finally told me Oh look a little elephant I love my little elephant. (she does love elephants and has a large collection of ceramic and marble carved elephants at home)

Wed. the nursing home called and told me they were going to give Mom an adovan (anti-psychotic) as she was really delirious and very agitated and was in my daughter-in-laws office. (Both my son and his wife work in the home) So I went up to see what was going on. Mom said she was mad at me vecause I had been writing bad checks all over town. (she now has an obsession with her check book) I assured her that I had not written any bad checks, then she kind of giggled and said Oh I know you haven't.

It was lunch time so I decided to take her to the dining room and help her eat. I took her in at 11:30 and she didn't get any food til 12:15. But it was unreal as that whole 45 min. we waited she ate imaginary food. The pantomime was so good you would swear she was really eating. At first she picked something up in her hand and actually "bit" it off and chewed and chewed then kept licking whatever she thought she was eating off her fingers. Then she picked up a fork and she ate and ate and ate. Chewed like she really had something in her mouth swallowed it and even picked some food out of her teeth. It was so bizarre and so heartbreaking to see my mother behaving like this. Finally her food came and a CNA came over to help me and Mom was still "feeding" herself so every time she would open her mouth to eat her imaginary food as she was bringing her hand to her mouth the CNA would hurry up and put a spoonful of soup in Moms mouth. In doing so she managed to get a half bowl of chicken noodle soup into mom then they brought her some pureed peaches and she got that all down mom. By this time the adovan was kicking in and mom was falling alseep so the CNA took her back to her room and put her to bed.
It was a horrible thing to see my Mom like this and I don't think I will ever eat another meal that I don't see my mom eating like that when there was nothing there.

Friends to the End

Date unknown, this old photo-booth shot is of Betty Clinton and Harriet Fitzpatrick, best friends. Betty was a close neighbor, just north of Harriet's parents' home. They went to school together, and also flirted with Gordon Short together. But when Gordon asked Betty out first, she declined, because she knew how Harriet felt about Gordon. Now THAT'S a real friend...

Ironically, even to this day, Betty and Harriet are neighbors. Harriet lives at Eventide in Moorhead, and Betty still lives in her home, only a few blocks away...