Friday, August 08, 2003

Aging---Oh how sad. The mother I always knew. My best friend. Now so remote. So angry. So hard to deal with. I cry so much. Unable to sleep well. Hardly able to eat, with the worry. All professionals involved say & assure me she needs to stay in the nursing home out of harm's way from herself.

I have no POA so they tell I have to go for guardianship. I'm in horror of what lies ahead, because this means Mom & I have to go to court together. I can't even imagine what that will be like. She'll know what is happening.

She is so aware momentarily & can adamantly voice her opinion, But moments later no Idea ofwhat she was so aware of moments ago.

My emotions are all torn apart as I'm almost numb & in a (should I-shouldn't I mode). But I know what I have had to deal with - with her memory loss & deep down know it has to be controlled. What a sadness...