Tuesday, April 09, 2002


Here is an excerpt from an email received from Susan, the Administrator of the Moorhead Manor with concerns about Mom lately:
The problem that we are having lately with the bed being made is partly because of the trouble of getting your mom out of bed. Housekeeping is going to keep a log because what happens is when she gets up for lunch, they go into the room and make the bed. A lot of times, then your mother crawls back into bed. She comes down to play cards, they go in and make the bed, she crawls in for a nap before supper. She will even say to them "no use in making it, I'm just going to get right back in..." Now I'll have them also go in just prior to leaving their shift for the day anywhere between 4-6pm. They will again make the bed.

I am hoping that some of this sleeping will be taken care of after her med review with the doctor. Again today, we were into her room 4 times prior to lunch trying to get her up. She takes her am pills and does not want to get up. Went in prior to lunch-wouldn't get up. I finally went in mid afternoon and again checked. Doesn't complain of being sick, just has no energy and wants to stay in bed. I am not quite sure what to do with this-maybe nothing until she is seen by doctor. This is one of the first afternoons that we have had problems getting her up. Usually she's ready to go by lunch or at least snack time.
We are very concerned about this so we have made an appointment for Mom to see GP, Dr. Martindale to check out all her meds, etc and blood levels. This will be coordinated with the neurologist, Dr. Haake during a later appointment. [Note by Trish: In other words, we want to see if it's physical, neurological, or both, and get to the bottom of it...]

Last night I was over to see Mom and she said again, "I dream of Dad, and when I wake up I am sadder than ever..." *heavy heart*

Silence.................

Here is a reading called, Grieving With God that I sent to Mom:
One of the hardest things to accept is that life as we know it does not go on.

Relationships are often difficult to establish and maintain. And on rare, wonderful occasions, some just fall into place so easily and run so smoothly from both ends.

Losing one we're close to, feels unfair and so sad. Those we just fell in love with from the start, that were there for us whatever our circumstances, whatever our pain, no matter how we lost our humor, those we could wrap our arms around and receive comfort from, we find it impossible to release them to death.

Once we relax in knowing they are there, will never reject us, will always return our love and affection, how can we plan a future without them?

How can the memories be enough when our hearts seem to slow, yet pound so loudly in our throats, when our joy is crushed, when our eyes cloud and will never view things the same again?

How should we behave? Why should we just walk back into life as though nothing ever happened? How can we ever be expected to smile again? How can we let go?

Amazingly enough, long before we were conceived, long before we participated in life, God had a plan........a perfect plan.

He foresaw the need for this life to have a beginning as well as an end. He created and thoroughly understood the complexities of relating to others. He gave us the ability to love and draw close. He knew the path our lives would take and how deeply we would feel pain. He left nothing out.

He built within us the abilities to grieve without dying, to let go without forgetting, to cope without quitting, to continue to love those who have gone on, yet grow to love others more strongly and even to add new love to our hearts.

He even gave us time......time to grieve.....time to heal and time to grow from our new understanding.

Beyond our awesome creation, He knows exactly when we suffer loss and how hard it is for us.

We are among those He just fell in love with from the start, He is there for us no matter what our circumstances, what our pain, no matter how we've lost our humor, He wants to wrap us in His arms and receive comfort from Him.

We can relax in knowing He has always been there, will never reject us, will always return our love and affection, and will help us plan our future.

He will rejoice with us in our memories and restore our joy and make our hearts pound loudly in our throats in anticipation of a glad future.

We should not walk the same roads over again. He devised that when our eyes have clouded with tears we should never view things the same way again. We could grow bitter from sadness, or we can grow and learn compassion. We should never behave as though nothing ever happened. We should fondly remember that knowing, then missing someone has changed us, that we were blessed with the company of angels while they were here.

This amazingly perfect plan that God has, of which He mapped out every possible outcome, leads us always back into His very capable, loving arms.

It's not that He wants us to suffer, not that He wants us to cry, not that He wants us to lose those we love dearly. God just wants us to remember that while we were happily on our journey with our loved one, He was happy too.

He leads us to know that after losing our loved one, when we return to life more lonely, He steps up closer to us and not only understands our loneliness, but helps us hold our head up.

When emptiness invades your sleep, He offers what no other friend can..... serenity as deep as the emptiness and hope as promising as the sunrise.

He is the one friend that cannot and will not die, and will never leave our side.

He is the almighty creator who gave you forever your friend or relative.

By Carla J. Wilson